Growing in the Rain...

Have you ever thought about how much we grow in our relationship with Christ when there are hard times? We pray without ceasing, we ask others for prayer, we constantly seek Him for guidance, healing, etc.

A couple months ago I found a lump in my leg. It didn't hurt and I just brushed it off. When I would feel it, I would worry (that is one of the joys of being an oncology nurse,) but never enough to do anything about it.

Well, I am going part time next month and I will not be getting as great of benefits as a part time employee so I decided to have it checked out. The doctor and nurse both felt the lump, part of me wished it was just my imagination. The doctor ordered a ultrasound which revealed a 1.6 cm mass that was highly suspicious of a lymph node. The nurse in me panicked...1st off you don't have lymph nodes where this mass was and second off if it really is a lymph node, why is it so big? It is moments like this in your life when you realize most of all that no one can help you except Christ. He is the only one that can calm my soul, heal my body, and give me peace. I tried my hardest to trust in God's plan, and not to be anxious.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34.


Working in oncology I have seen it all. From worry to suffering and from peace to delighting in the Lord. I have learned when it comes to illness and hard times God wants us to suffer well. We cannot only praise Him in the good times- we must also praise Him in the bad. He needs the glory no matter what. We need to trust, surrender, and endure. I made up my mind whatever this mass was that I would still give thanks to God for my life and for his guidance through it all.

I had an MRI on Thursday and I got the results yesterday. It turns out I have a benign bone tumor called an osteochondroma . Benign meaning non-cancerous (Praise the Lord.) I will follow up with an orthopedic doctor to monitor its growth but hopefully it is finished growing and we can leave it right where it is since it does not cause me any pain or discomfort.


I grew so much in my relationship with God during this time. I felt his comfort and peace, I knew no matter what He was there for me. I got back into the word daily, I prayed almost every chance I got, and I learned how to truly trust-because He was the only one that could help.

I do not want to need hard times to grow in my relationship with Christ. I want to trust, love, and pray my heavily father as much in the good times as I do in the bad. I think I learned during this past week that I do need to trust him as much with the little decisions and things in life, even if I do feel I have control of them, as I did with the things I felt I had no control over. Even though we feel like we have control, we really don't. He is driver and ultimately we are just really bad back seat drivers.

It rained like crazy the week I was going through all this and today the sun is shining and I can see the growth that happened in all the trees, grass, and flowers. They grew more this week than they have all year. I couldn't help but see a similarity in myself. The rain, or hard times, even though we would rather it always be sunny, sure does cause us to grow on so many levels. I am grateful to God for this healing and for the things he has taught me during this rainy week.

We must suffer well and realize the bigger picture in life. It is not about anything worldly... it is about Jesus and our relationship with Him. He is forever good, regardless of our own personal circumstance.

I love you all. Thank you so much for all your prayers and support. Remember to trust God at all times and give Him the glory...not matter what.